What's Wrong With You?
by fififolle
Summary: Elizabeth addresses Rodney’s recent behaviour, but learns something about herself. Now a series of Season 2 'almost McWeir' moments. Chapter 9 up: just before Allies... now COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Author: Fififolle**

**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun or something, I make no money etc.

**Spoilers:** Siege 1,2,3, Intruder, Runner, Duet, Condemned

**Beta: **Huge thanks to LittleKnux2008 for beta talents!

**A/N:** This chapter takes place just before Trinity.

**Summary:** Elizabeth addresses Rodney's recent behaviour, but learns something about herself. McWeir, perhaps.

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**Chapter One**

"Thank you for coming, Rodney, please, take a seat."

Dr Elizabeth Weir was seated behind her desk, immaculately composed. A rather distracted Dr McKay shuffled on the spot, randomly touching the back of the chair intended for him.

"You can appreciate I'm rather busy at the moment, Elizabeth, let's just get this over with." McKay's words were curt and cold.

Elizabeth sighed. This was exactly what she had feared. "Rodney, please. I'm trying to talk to you about a serious matter."

He rolled his eyes and leaned heavily over the chair. "Just say what you have to say, Elizabeth."

She took a deep breath. "All right. If that's how you want it. I'm guessing you realise I want to talk about your recent…attitude problem."

He snorted. "Could you be more specific?"

She wasn't sure if he was being rhetorical, or just plain facetious.

"Don't make this any harder, Rodney. I just want to know why you've have been so…" she found her words failing her, "…even more moody than usual these past few weeks."

He was staring at the ceiling, motionless. She couldn't see his eyes. She ploughed on, as if through treacle.

"I have noticed, and certain people have mentioned, purely in passing, you understand. No-one has made a specific complaint or allegation, I can assure you, however, there has definitely been mention of a greater degree of over-sensitivity, more heated verbal abuse of colleagues, lack of co-operation with military personnel… I'm merely exploring what I can do to return you to a more…normal disposition." Her voice betrayed an uncertainty that there existed such a normal disposition for McKay.

He had clearly listened to every word, and now fixed her with a steely gaze, before launching into an animated soliloquy. His hands emphasised each phrasing and his voice oozed sarcasm.

"Oh, well, let me see, Elizabeth. Where shall I start? Oh, yes, I watched one of my closest ever friends blown up in a satellite - that was just great, before we took Custer's last stand in this city, which had become a war zone. I almost got the life sucked out of me, because I screwed up using my 9-mil. We then almost let the Wraith have access to Earth, because I may not have been able to install the Zed-PM; that was a nice moment! During all this, someone I thought of like a little brother was turned into a drugged monster, and, oh, yes, strangled and punched my two best mates before leaving us. I won't bore you with the finer details of my time on Earth, but since we returned, I've seen a good man sucked out of an air lock, I almost took a flight into a sun, said drug-monster kidnapped me, I've had a military female share my brain, that was a blast, eh? And not to mention being held captive by criminals. That was just a taster, Elizabeth. I've lots more tales to tell. Would you like to hear them? Or is that enough to prove that I've got a few reasons to be just a little off balance at the moment? Anyway, enough about me. Why don't you tell me what's wrong with you?"

Elizabeth looked up in surprise from the scratch on the desk she had been studying on and off whilst listening to McKay's rant.

"Excuse me?"

"Ha! I hate it when you say that! Exactly, please do tell, Elizabeth, just what is your excuse for how you've been acting?"

She was completely taken off guard, and anger rose in her. "I have no idea what you are referring to, Rodney."

"Oh, come on! Since we got the Zed-PM you've been snipping at me like you're my mother!"

She stared at him in disbelief, and opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. It was a moment before she spoke. "Have I?"

Her quiet contemplation and enquiry gave McKay a chance to calm himself, and return to a place where he was actually thinking about what he was saying.

"Look, Kate Heightmeyer thinks Peter's death has thrown me right off. Haven't you seen her? I'm sure you've been through as much as me." He paused, before adding, "Teyla thinks you had a rough time on Earth…" he stared down at the back of the chair.

"I…that's not what we're supposed to be addressing here, Rodney. I didn't realise you were aware of your…problem, and that you were working it through with Kate. I assumed… All I need is assurance that you feel you are making progress."

She didn't know how she had managed to string together a cohesive response.

McKay walked around the chair, sat down and leaned over the desk, his fingers steepled close to her. He looked unwaveringly into her eyes.

"Elizabeth, I am acutely aware that I am not handling this whole situation well. The past year has been intensely stressful, to put not too fine a point on it. I am fortunate to have good friends around me to help me deal with what happened to Peter, not to mention the other stuff. I thought I could count on you too, Elizabeth, but…" he sighed, barely audibly, "I just haven't felt that close to you this past while. I don't known why. It's just, every time I open my mouth, you're telling me off, if not with your words, with your eyes." He looked down, letting his head drop tiredly.

She covered her mouth with her right hand, stifling the emotion she didn't want to show. She squeezed her eyes tight for a moment, and then opened them wide, blinking hard as she fought to compose herself. At last, she was able to speak quietly.

"I'm sorry, Rodney. You're right. I've had my own worries. Can we continue this conversation some other time? I'm not sure I'm ready to talk more right now."

He looked sadly at her, seeing the hatches battened down.

"Sure. I wish…anyway, maybe we can…fix this. I don't want us to…well, if it's all right, I'm going to…" he rose from his chair slowly, and seeing no response from her, left Elizabeth sitting at her desk, her head bowed.

TBC...

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**A/N:** I do have a second chapter written, but I've never uploaded a second chapter before. I was going to have a go in a couple of days. Do you think I'll manage? What if I can't work out how to do it? You'd just have to make do with this chapter on its own. You wouldn't mind would you? ;) 

Fifi x


	2. Chapter 2

**Author: Fififolle**

**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun or something, I make no money etc.

**Spoilers:** Siege 1,2,3, Intruder, Runner, Duet, Condemned

**Beta: **Huge thanks to LittleKnux2008 for beta talents!

**Summary:** Elizabeth addresses Rodney's recent behaviour, but learns something about herself. Spoilers for Season 2 up to Trinity.

**A/N Chapter 2 :** Don't shoot Vana! Thanks to nebbyJ, and gatermage for advice on how to load this, it worked! Also I had sort of thought the same as you sgafan33, figured maybe it was OK in the rant as facetiousness, but maybe should have listened to my instinct! Appreciate the continued encouragement from Hananian, Fanwoman, szhismine, NeyaVilyaNenya – cheers all! Stayed up too late preparing this, got up very early to upload, because I'm sorry for teasing! Hope it's OK for you!

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**Chapter 2**

Elizabeth had taken some time to compose herself again after Rodney had left. She had thought about Peter, and how she missed him desperately; the man who had always been by her side. She thought about Simon, his understandable betrayal, wanting to forgive but hurting so hard she had to despise his weakness. She thought about Aiden, so young, so desecrated, so lost. She thought about John, her find, her golden one, her champion. And Rodney, her intellectual partner in this adventure, so invaluable, so vulnerable.

She left her office; it was late, and quiet. She received a brief nod from the Canadian sergeant. More memories of Peter flooded in, and she increased her pace so that the officer could not see her tears. She found herself out on a balcony, gripping the rail for dear life, breathing deep, ragged breaths.

It was a moment before she registered the heat. She knew that sensation. She shifted her weight, and her eyes met with those of McKay.

"Sorry, I should have just left when you came in. But I…you look like you need to talk, even if it's not with me, even if you're not ready."

His voice was even, soothing, so like her old Rodney she began to cry silently.

He placed a tentative arm around her shoulders, and found no resistance.

"Do you want to talk about it?" It sounded bizarre from his egocentric lips. But he didn't know what else to do.

She spoke in time, "Who would think that you were better placed than me to figure out how bad I feel? The irony is killing me." She gave a harsh laugh. "I'll tell you what's wrong with me." She paused, as if unsure whether to really continue, "I get back to Earth to find my partner has given up on me. Who could blame him? I disappear for a year, and expect him to come with me? Who was I kidding? If I'd really loved him I'd never have left, isn't that so? Atlantis is my home, but I used to think I had another. Well, it's gone."

McKay was not entirely sure he should respond, but her eyes suggested otherwise. "Well, if he'd really loved you..." he didn't think this was a good track to rush down, "You had to come. It was just too much to expect for a year, I guess." It was lame, but he'd tried his best.

She seemed to be pacified. She rubbed the hand that was gently holding her shoulder. "Do you think the death of Peter has got to me too?"

McKay felt more able to answer that one. "Are you kidding? He never stopped talking about how you handled this crisis, or that disaster. You must miss him a lot. You need to talk to Kate."

She spoke, more softly. "I thought, when the Wraith were gone, that everything would be better. Nothing to fear. But it just seems worse. I can only manage one day at a time right now."

McKay let his arm drop from her shoulder, and grabbed the rail, mirroring her own stance. "I feel the same way, Elizabeth. I just wish things could be…like they were before."

They looked at each other, faces pained and tired.

"We knew this would be a rough ride, " Elizabeth whispered, "But you came with me. We'll make it, somehow."

McKay enveloped her in a brief, deep, brotherly embrace, just as he did once before, back in Antarctica, in the days before they left for the Pegasus galaxy, and repeated the words he had used then. "Together, we can do this."

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**A/N:** And then came Trinity hehe! Want to read about the moment in Antarctica? See Leaving the Ghosts, a previous fic of mine! Sorry if I'm a bit obsessed with Peter. He was a true Brit and his death has given me some great material, bless his fictional soul. I have a post-Trinity fic in the pipe, but it belongs alone, I think. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Beta: **Many thanks to LittleKnux2008!

**Spoilers:** Season 2 general, Aurora

**A/N: **I felt the need to do more moments for this fic. So it will now become a kind of Season 2 series, with chapters added when I feel the urge! This is tagged onto the end of Aurora.

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**Chapter Three**

Ronon wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and set down his glass on the table. "Thank you Dr. Weir." With his customary abruptness, he strode out of the room.

Caldwell was staring after him. Sometimes he didn't know what to make of these alien species, he really didn't. With a sigh, he smoothed down his jacket. "If you will excuse me, ladies, gentlemen, I have a few things to see to on the Daedalus before I turn in." He gave Elizabeth a nod, and also left.

McKay eased himself back on the sofa and stretched one arm along the back of it, crossing his legs lazily. Elizabeth raised one eyebrow at his familiarity, and studied him over the rim of her glass as she drained the last drop carefully.

Colonel Sheppard stretched with exaggerated movements, depositing his glass by the others. He touched Teyla's arm. "Well, folks. Long day, whatever. Come on, Teyla, I'll see you to your quarters."

Teyla frowned slightly, and searched Sheppard's face. Whatever she saw caused her to bow gracefully and make her sincere farewell to Elizabeth.

Then they were alone.

Elizabeth turned to the man stubbornly refusing to leave her sofa. Leaning against her table, she eyed him thoughtfully, considering his smiling visage.

She cocked her head, and waved her empty glass at him.

"All right. I give up. What is it?" she sighed.

His smile grew broader and more crooked. "Go on, guess."

"I've done my guessing. I said I give up! Tell me now." She put her glass down with the others a little forcefully, and crossed her arms, a slight smile playing on her lips, despite herself.

He ignored her obvious frustration and crossed his own arms in satisfaction. "_We_ didn't actually argue today." His mouth was curled up at one side in a smug twist.

Elizabeth furrowed her brow, and pulled her head in a little as if to try and calculate the nuance of the statement. "Rodney, you were…on the other side of the galaxy today…"

He pointed in triumph. "Aha! Yes. But the fact remains that we have not had a cross word pass between us since I got out of my bed this morning." The smug grin remained.

Elizabeth swallowed. "Rodney…Are you feeling all right? I mean…"

He waved his glass airily. "Fine. Fine. I'm just saying…maybe we…you and I…maybe we are feeling more ourselves again." Just a hint of uncertainty mixed with hope tinged his voice.

She let out a long breath. "Rodney, I have only talked to you for about ten minutes today. I hardly think…"

She paused as she watched him break his gaze and begin to pick at the sofa. He looked…petulant. She considered the wider truth behind his observation.

"OK. OK. You're right. As usual. I admit, I didn't feel any measure of irritation with you today. At all. And I think you did a wonderful job. You were…it was a successful mission for us, all in all." She sighed. "You did well, Rodney. I am proud of you, I am really."

He was pouting. It really looked odd on a grown man. She crossed to the sofa and sat down, just outside the framing of his arm resting back on the sofa top. "Is that better?" she asked.

"Kind of." He paused. A thought seemed to strike him and he fixed her with a narrow gaze. He was clearly considering what she had told him of her recent heartache. It had caused her to act irritably around everyone, especially him. "How are you? I mean, are you feeling a bit better about…you know?"

"About Simon? Yes, I guess. I can't blame him, not too much. Well, just a bit. OK, let's just leave it there, shall we? Don't get me started again. I'll be fine, I swear. And you, things have been a little easier lately?"

He gave a gruffly snort, and looked away. "S'pose. Haven't killed anyone recently…or seen anyone killed for at least a couple of weeks…I guess things are looking up."

Elizabeth reached across and laid her hand briefly on his shoulder. He didn't look at her, or pull away, just seemed to accept the gesture.

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "So, how are you and Katie Brown?"

McKay tossed his head dismissively. "Oh. Just peachy. I believe her exact words were, 'You're so absorbed in yourself, I'd have to run you through electrophoresis just to separate you from your own ego.' So, no actually, there is no 'me and Katie Brown'. Go figure."

Elizabeth hung her head. "I'm sorry, Rodney, truly I am." And she was.

"Yeah, well. When you wake up a Wraith like I did today, things like that seem pretty pathetic."

She looked into his nervous, blue eyes, and smiled. "As I said, Rodney, I am proud of you. And I wouldn't change anything about you."

A strange, wistful look crossed his face. "Anything? Ego? Blowing up five sixths of solar systems? Insulting Radek?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Hmmm. Let me see. You know I like Radek. I'm not sure if that can be forgiven…" she laughed and clapped her hands on her knees. "I'll try to forgive that, I promise. Give me some time!" Her smiling eyes caught his, and the gaze turned into something more meaningful, deeper, as the truth of the words hit them both.

McKay withdrew his arm and tapped his glass uneasily. "Right. I'll try to be a bit nicer to him. He'll like that." He swallowed hard, and stood up abruptly.

"I, er…I'd better go. Thanks…for the champagne, you know." He waved a hand.

"It was John's."

"Yeah. Whatever."

"See you at breakfast?"

"Sure."

He cast one last glance at her positive smile, and then left the room.

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**A/N:** We'll have to see where the rest of Season 2 takes us... 


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun, I make no money etc.

**Spoilers: The Hive**

**A/N: **Well, not sure I like where Season 2 is taking McWeir, but I can put my own interpretation on it, can't I? This is a bit more angsty, more chapters to come, maybe fix things a bit, why not?

**Beta: **Thanks to LittleKnux2008 for beta talents.

**Summary:** Elizabeth addresses Rodney's recent behaviour, but learns something about herself. WIP. Chapter Four: The Hive tag

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**Chapter Four**

Elizabeth entered the mess hall. It was so late that she didn't expect anyone else to be there. The lights were dimmed. She headed for the lighting control panel, but someone beat her to it. When she saw the otherhand on the panel, raising the lux, she drew her own back.

"Elizabeth." He met her eyes, with a cold, tired stare.

"Oh, Rodney, I didn't expect anyone to be here." She broke the eye contact and hurried across to the serving cabinets.

With her tray in hand, she joined McKay at his table. She sat down slowly, feeling a little nervous inside. For once, she seemed unable to read his mood.

"Well, Rodney, I see you made it back in time for supper today. I'm glad." She tried to smile, but to all intents and purposes, failed.

"Yeah. Whatever. Look, recovering Wraith-addict here. Small talk is not easy, OK?"He gave her a huge scowl that made her heart freeze.

She thought about the events of the day. "Rodney, did Carson give you stimulants this afternoon? You were fine earlier."

"Of course he did. Are you crazy? It was the only way we were going to get the Colonel back, or that's what I thought. So don't expect me to be much fun for the next twenty-nine hours, OK?" He took a large swallow of coffee, and hung his head over the table.

"Oh, Rodney, I'm so sorry…" she whispered to him, and reached out her hand, lightly touching his arm.

McKay reacted sharply, pulling back his hand and snapping his head up, his face shocked and angry. "Don't touch me! "

His reflex over, his expression turned to one of shame. "Sorry, sorry, Elizabeth. I just can't handle… stuff… right now." He rubbed his face roughly with his hands, covering his emotions.

She touched her steepled hands to her lips, watching him suffer. She wondered how she had let herself drift so far from this friend. She had always given him a touch when he needed it. When she needed it. Her hand on his back, it had been a familiar and comforting gesture, to them both, she hoped. She hadn't given him that public contact since they had returned from Earth on the Daedalus. Now he recoiled from her touch even in private. Had she treated him so badly? She wondered just what _was_ wrong with her.

"I should have been with you in the infirmary today, Rodney. Sure, I stopped by a couple of times, but I don't think I was in there for more than five minutes, tops. I let you down. I'm sorry."

He looked up at her, he seemed… sympathetic? "It's OK, Elizabeth, I wasn't even…"

"No. It's not OK! I should have been there. I'm so busy controlling things, proving myself to Caldwell, being and looking important. I've forgotten how to care! How to care… about my friends… about you." She finished her outburst in a subdued whisper.

He waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, well, I can't see any of that changing anytime soon. You do what you have to, to stay in charge here. Caldwell breathing down your neck every few weeks, and I know what you risked to keep… Sheppard." He paused. "You do your job, and I'll do mine, OK?"

She looked at him, sadly. "I'm sorry, Rodney."

"Yeah, me too."

McKay pushed his chair back, and stood up. "I've got to go, Elizabeth. I need to go." His fingers waggled towards his head." Can't really think straight. Look, don't worry about… whatever. I'll see you tomorrow, OK?"

He wasn't really paying her any attention now, as he walked determinedly out of the mess. She watched him go, and stared down at her food, all appetite gone.

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**A/N:** Elizabeth has some work to do... next chapter up in a few weeks, fix McWeir up a bit. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Spoilers: Epiphany**, also** The Hive**

**Beta: **Thanks to** LittleKnux2008**

**A/N: **I wasn't going to update until Grace Under Pressure, but Rocketlover asked, so this is for you!

**Summary:**  
Elizabeth addresses Rodney's recent behaviour, but learns something about herself. WIP.Chapter Five: Epiphany missing scene

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**Chapter Five**

McKay patted the ground next to him, where he was sitting on the floor of the cave, his back up against the rough stone. Elizabeth hesitated, and then sank to her haunches where she was, near the portal. McKay looked up from his datapad, and saw that she had clearly declined his invitation to sit close to him while they waited for the others. He let out a short exclamation of disappointment. They would have about five minutes before the next person appeared through the portalbecause of the time dilation field. He wondered whether he would see his old Elizabeth back, ever.

The silence was thick in the air. Elizabeth thought she would suffocate from it. How ironic that McKay would save her even from her imagined dangers.

"You needn't worry that you'll give me the wrong idea, you know." His eyes were still firmly fixed on his screen.

Elizabeth shifted her weight on the uncomfortable cave floor. "I'm sorry?"

"I won't bite today, you know. I'm over the whole enzyme thing. Just the usual bark-worse-than-his-bite McKay."

"Oh. Right. I just…"

"Oh spare me please." McKay's tone was light and airy, no hint of antipathy. "Like I said, I get the idea. I can read you loud and clear. Sheppard is one good-looking guy; I'll give you that. S'no wonder you want to save him. I don't blame you. Just… well… look, Elizabeth…"McKay finally looked up, and into her anxious eyes. "If you were thinking of replacing Simon with Sheppard, just… oh, look, will you tell me to shut up already?" He looked quickly down.

Elizabeth swallowed hard and found it hard to respond to McKay's little speech. "Rodney, I… that's just ridiculous! How can you…?" She sighed. "Well, I can't deny some of it, I suppose. He _is_ attractive. Yes, I do want to save him, desperately. Maybe it even looks desperate, me being here. Does it? Oh no, it does, doesn't it?" She looked away from him, into the dark, as if to gather her thoughts.

"You know he's Kirk, right? I mean, he's really grown on me, I'd even say we were friends, I know that's weird, but I'm just saying…" McKay's hands were gesturing in tiny, precise movements above his lap.

Elizabeth looked at him, her brow furrowed in amusement. "What exactly _are_ you saying, Rodney?"

The muscle tone in McKay's face failed him as he became nervous. "I'm just saying, maybe he doesn't deserve someone like you, not that he doesn't deserve someone really nice, it's just, maybe he wouldn't appreciate you like…"

"Like what?"

"Like… I thought you were telling me to shut up?"

"That wasn't my idea."

"No, right. Ah. Never mind." He returned to tapping at his datapad determinedly.

As the silence settled again, Elizabeth took to scratching at the ground with a small stone. She was mulling things over in her head. She wasn't really trying to replace Simon, was she? She didn't have time for a new relationship. She certainly wasn't feeling in a frame of mind to share herself with anyone, most people irritated her beyond words these days. Even Rodney… She recalled a time when his manner almost excited her. He was arrogant, and it was fun. He was blunt, and she found it exhilarating. After all the dancing around the issues in her diplomatic assignments, his demeanour had been a breath of fresh air. A small smile played on her lips as she glanced over at him. He looked calm, ready. She wondered how he felt about her. She knew he respected her. He'd always deferred to her leadership, from the day they'd met, despite his egotistical personality. What he'd just said now, and other things he'd said from time to time, a look here and there, the occasional hug; she would be forgiven for thinking he was trying to protect _her_ as well as Atlantis. She promised herself that she would allow him space to show his feelings, that she would show him once again that she was his friend, a true friend, and see what happened. She felt ashamed that she had just let him down again, without even trying. But not any more, not if she could help it.

Elizabeth pushed up off her hands and brought her feet under her, standing up a little stiffly. She brushed herself down, glancing over at Rodney, who was watching her. Picking up her gear, she began to walk over to him. Teyla appeared through the portal, almost colliding with Elizabeth.

"Sorry! Are you OK?" Elizabeth held Teyla by the arm, as she steadied herself.

"I am fine, Dr Weir."

Elizabeth looked over at Rodney; his eyes were on her. He smiled at her, knowingly.

"Why don't we all just sit down and wait for Ronan and Beckett?" He patted the ground beside him, grinning hugely.

Elizabeth returned his grin. "All right. You win." She planted herself next to him, instantly feeling his warmth.

Teyla gave them both a quizzical look as she made herself comfortable.

The silence wasn't so bad after that.

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A/N: A little happier, I guess ;) 


	6. Chapter 6

**Spoilers: The Hive, Critical Mass, Grace Under Pressure**

**Beta: **Big thanks to** LittleKnux2008**

**A/N: **McWeir fix, anyone?

**Summary:** Elizabeth addresses Rodney's recent behaviour, but learns something about herself. WIP.  
Chapter Six: Grace Under Pressure tag

* * *

**Chapter Six**

"Elizabeth?" Carson Beckett laid a hand on Dr Weir's shoulder, and gently gave her a shake.

"Huh? What?" A less than composed leader of Atlantis awoke, startled.

"Easy, lass. You're still in the infirmary." Carson's soothing brogue accompanied his hand squeeze on her shoulder, calming her.

Elizabeth dropped her head into her hands and rubbed her face, groaning. "Sorry, Carson. Sorry, I was miles away. Oh boy. Feel terrible." Her head snapped back up. "Rodney! Is he… Is he OK?" She swung round and reached out to the man lying in the bed next to the chair she was sitting in. He'd been brought straight to the infirmary from the rescue puddlejumper, freezing, soaking wet, and bleeding. He'd been the only survivor of the crashed 'jumper that had sunk to the bottom of the ocean, and the rescue was nothing short of miraculous. Once home, it hadn't taken Carson long to stabilise him, and he'd slept for around nine hours so far, Elizabeth by his side every moment.

Dr Beckett watched her take Rodney's hand. "Aye, Elizabeth, he's doing fine. Nothing's changed, he's still sleeping it all off. I just thought I'd better wake you, that's all. You've been here all night, and, if you don't mind me saying so, you also look pretty terrible. Why don't you go and get a shower, freshen up, and maybe, when he's awake, you'll be in a fit state to talk to him."

Elizabeth looked round at Carson, a tired smile across her lips. With a quirk of her eyebrow, she acknowledged him with a nod. "Yes, all right, Carson. I hear you." Her pale face fell a little. "You'll tell him I was here if he wakes up?"

Carson smiled back. "Of course, Elizabeth. Now, get yourself away. I think you've more than made up for your absence during his last prolonged visit." He winked, as he turned and headed for his office.

Elizabeth frowned, and opened her mouth to protest, but he was gone.

She felt the hand in hers grip gently, and she whipped her head round to see Rodney's eyes flutter open.

"Hey. Rodney. You OK?" she whispered softly.

Blue eyes blinked at her. "Elizabeth?" he mumbled.

"Hey. I'm here. You're in the infirmary."

"Man. My head hurts." He shut his eyes again.

"Carson says you took a nasty blow to the head in the crash. Plus you were near-hypothermic. But he says he's afraid you'll make a full recovery." She gave him an encouraging smile that she knew he wasn't seeing.

"Bloody Scotsman. What does he know?" McKay rolled over onto his side toward Elizabeth, gripping her hand more tightly now.

"I didn't give up on you, Rodney. We pulled out all the stops." She rubbed his hand, her eyes on him.

"About time." He mumbled. "I deserve it."

She smiled. "It must have been bad for you down there, you know, with you being…"

"Claustrophobic? Mmm." His eyes flickered open for a moment, then shut again. "It was… interesting."

For a few minutes she just sat there, holding his hand, as he appeared to have fallen back to sleep. Carson had warned her he might be like this at first. She couldn't leave now.

"Elizabeth?"

She was almost startled by his mumbling; she was convinced he had drifted off. "Yes?"

"Do you ever wear pink?"

She strained to hear him, but she thought she'd caught it right. "Excuse me?"

"Pink." He sighed, eyes closed.

"Oh. Well. Actually. I don't really suit pink. My skin colour, you see. I can almost get away with a very pale shade, I mean, I've got one or two… I suppose generally I avoid it. Definitely not sweetie pink. So… not normally, no." She rambled a little, uncertain of his consciousness, worried about him.

He sighed again. "Shame."

She gripped his hand tighter. Whatever was going on in his concussed head, she was just glad he was alive. She had been given a second chance.

"Rodney? Did you tell Carson about me? About how I felt bad for not staying with you in your enzyme withdrawal?" She swallowed, almost hoping he had fallen back to sleep.

"Uh huh." He licked his lips, and his eyelids blinked a little, "I told him to make sure you didn't run off on me next time."

"Next time…" she echoed quietly. The thought that he had told his friend about her guilt, known he would find himself in the same position again, it reminded her of her conversation with Rodney about the traumatic circumstances they had found themselves in since they arrived in the Pegasus galaxy. Rodney had struggled to deal with it all, even gone to Kate Heightmeyer. She, however, had bottled it all up, and turned her anger towards Simon into criticism and harshness towards her team, towards Rodney.

"Oh, Rodney. What are we doing here? This expedition is madness." She spoke quietly, not even sure if he could hear her. "You face danger every day, and it was me that brought you here. I think I've become immune to it all. Death, destruction, torture. Look what I did to Dr Kavanagh. It's all part of my day-to-day routine, I feel like I'm made of stone… I want to be close to you, like I was before, maybe even… I don't know if I am capable any more. I don't know how to care enough…" Elizabeth found her words spilling out without being able to stop them. She could feel tears threatening the same way.

He focused his blue eyes on her and pushed himself up a little onto one elbow, as she continued to blurt out her tired, confused monologue. He squeezed the hand that he still held tightly.

"Elizabeth." His clear voice stilled her. "'What are we doing here?'" It was his turn to reflect her words. "We came here to learn, to find, to open our eyes. You brought me, because you believed in me. I do what I do because I don't think I'd want to do anything else. You do what you do because you have to keep the whole team ticking." He shook his head a little, as if to clear it. He took a few deep breaths. "Damn it, Elizabeth. You care so much it's breaking you up. Don't fall apart on us now. Why don't you… why don't we… you need some time to evaluate the whole mission. If you like, I could…we could… time off…" His eyes rolled a little in his head, and he slumped back against the pillow.

Elizabeth gasped in worry, and touched his face. She looked around, eyes wide. "Carson!" She was sure Rodney had passed out for real this time.

"What's up, Elizabeth?" Carson appeared, walked across calmly. "I see he's still asleep."

"He was awake! He passed out, Carson! Is he OK?" She was shrill, worried.

"Oh, right. Let me take a look."

Elizabeth noticed Carson raise a hand, and in a second, there was a nurse by his side.

"Elizabeth, he obviously needs a lot of rest right now. Why don't you give him some space? I'll let you know when you can see him. Go on, off you go."

She made to stand, but her hand was still held tightly. What had he been getting at? She needed a break? Well, she wouldn't deny it. She was seriously thinking she needed to speak to Kate Heightmeyer, and soon. Was he offering to help? Well, they had started this mission together; maybe she should have him help her to straighten things out in her mind.

"Elizabeth." Rodney called quietly, gripping her hand.

She leaned down to hear him better. He was so stubborn, refusing to lose consciousness completely, she mused.

"Elizabeth. You can wear any colour you like, as long as you are real." His free hand reached up and pressed against the back of her head, pulling her down gently so he could kiss her cheek.

Shock prevented her from resisting, but as he passed out once more and released his hold on her, she moved her hand to cover her cheek in embarrassment, glancing over at Carson.

The doctor grinned. "I won't ask, Elizabeth. Just away with you. I'll call you, I promise."

She nodded, and blinked, still a little in shock. As she left the infirmary, she looked back, to see the doctor checking on Rodney. Checking on her friend. No, her good friend. Maybe more. She smiled, and sighed. Whatever was wrong with her, he was going to help fix it, and she was going to let him.

* * *

**A/N: **It felt so long waiting for GUP to air in the US, I bet you all feel the same! Not sure yet, but probably update after Coup D'Etat...  



	7. Chapter 7

**Spoilers: **Pretty much everything up to and including Coup D'Etat. 

**Beta: **Huge thanks to LittleKnux2008 for beta talents!

**A/N: **This is a bit longer than usual. She's really losing it now, hehe. Hope you find it OK.

**Summary:** Elizabeth addresses Rodney's recent behaviour, but learns something about herself. WIP. **Chapter Seven**: pre- and post-Coup D'Etat.

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**Chapter Seven**

Elizabeth looked at her computer screen, and blinked. It was time to stop for the night. Her head ached a little, and her wrists were a little sore. If she wasn't careful, Carson would ban her from typing up her own reports.

She closed her eyes, and sighed softly. Things had been a bit crazy these last couple of weeks. Since she and John had been possessed by aliens and tried to kill each other, things had slowed a little around the city. Even so, a lot was being achieved, and she was up to her eyes in work. Her thoughts strayed to Rodney, and his almost fatal jumper crash, sink, whatever. She'd barely had two minutes to talk to him since; all thoughts of time off, or even mission re-evaluation, were now forgotten like a vague memory.

All her good intentions of letting him help her had slipped away. She had been to see Kate Heightmeyer, though. Finally got round to it, so many months after Rodney had suggested she ought to. It had been more than a week since she'd been, and Elizabeth had tried to forget it quickly. She hated having to face all those feelings, and dragging them all out in front of _her_ had been so hard, so very uncomfortable for Elizabeth.

All her anger at Simon, her brutal dismissal of that rejection, had been laid bare. She thought she was allowed to be strong, but apparently not so. Kate had wanted her to deny that kind of strength. She wasn't ready for that. The psychiatrist had asked Elizabeth to confront her feelings towards Colonel Sheppard. Elizabeth explained she was merely showing affection for a valued team member, not seeing if anyone else other than Simon would be interested in her, as Kate had proposed. Elizabeth had lost her temper at that point, the air had been almost blue. She'd felt a lot better after that.

Kate had insisted they discuss Peter. Elizabeth had tried to resist, and then stick to facts, but Kate would not be satisfied. Every last shred of pain had to be hung out to dry, it seemed. Well, fine, she'd played along, until she was a gibbering, sobbing wreck. She hoped Kate was satisfied.

All she wanted was to be the leader she used to be – strong, comforting, nurturing. But she was no longer in charge, _it_ was. The expedition had ripped her leadership from her, and turned her into a monster. She hadn't used those words to Kate, not yet. She'd missed her appointment yesterday. Maybe in a few days, she would stop by, apologise.

Bed. All she wanted right now was sleep. Not that it would come easily. It hadn't for some time now, not since… well, not since the whole five-sixths of a solar system fiasco, actually.

She made her way along the gallery leading from her office to the control room, and glanced to her left for a moment. Just a breath of fresh air would help. She approached the balcony doors, and they slid aside, noiselessly.

At the railing, she breathed deep, her eyes shut.

Then she felt that sensation. It was unmistakable. How did he do it? Genetically enhanced metabolism? She opened her eyes.

"Rodney. You don't usually…"

He stood by her side, and his voice interrupted, "No, no. I know. Usually too busy in the lab, or something."

"Well, I was just thinking about you, actually." She managed one of her old smiles, the teasing one; although a part of her wondered if he would even appreciate it.

His smile told her he did. "Really? Well, I have been waiting an age for you. I was beginning to get a little cold, actually. You work as late as me."

"You were…? Um. I know. Carson will forbid it one day. Yes, well, I know I haven't had much chance to talk to you since…"

His hand let go of the rail and waved from side to side. "I know. Busy. It's OK. But I thought it really was about time I found you, talked to you, saw how you were doing."

She looked down, ashamed. She was supposed to be the one in charge, the one looking out for her team. Dr Rodney McKay, multiple PhD's in insensitivity, or so everyone thought, was still looking out for _her_. It must be bad.

"Well, much better for knowing you are around. Even if I continually make a complete ass of myself. Please, let me forget that whole alien life-pod incident. Don't mention it. Anyway, I was thinking, maybe we needed to have that mission re-evaluation? You know, when you were…"

"Delirious? Yeah, I know. Stupid idea. Sorry."

She turned to face him and clutched at his arm. "No, no, Rodney, it was a brilliant idea. Genius, even. It's true. I do… We do need to go back over everything, set ourselves new goals, clear principles. Heck, a prime directive if we need to." Her eyes burned into him, willing him to understand.

He looked down at her arm, and he could hear the break in her voice.

"Hey, it's OK, Elizabeth. You're right, it's not such a bad idea. And I meant it, I'll work with you on that one." He saw her relax visibly. "I'll remind you of all the really bad things we've had to think about, like steal ZedPM's from kids, and torture people with ponytails, and you can decide where we're going wrong. Yeah?" He smiled at her.

She let go of him and held the rail, leaning on it with straight arms, her head down, eyes closed. "Oh, Rodney, that's not funny."

He swallowed. "It wasn't meant to be funny. I'm serious. This whole expedition has turned into some bizarre struggle for survival that I'm not sure we're gonna win. I might get the life sucked out of me any day now. It's… well, we need you to keep us straight."

"I'm not sure I can. We've lost so many."

They stood in silence for a minute.

"Um, so… have you been to see Kate yet?" He was tentative.

"Yes." She noticed the surprise in his face.

"And?"

She gave no reply, simply lifted her head a little, and stared out at the dark water.

He prompted, "We all miss him."

"Yes. We do." She turned slowly, and faced him. "Rodney, it's getting cold out here. Let's go in now."

"Sure. Anything." He looked into her eyes, smiling sadly. He placed a hand on her back, and guided her away from the rail. "Do you… want to get something to eat, before, you know…"

She smiled. "Yes. That would be good. Come on, maybe they still have some of your favourite."

He grinned back. "Maybe they do."

0o0o0

Rodney walked into the infirmary observation room, and finally found who he was looking for – Elizabeth. She was standing near the glass, staring down at the surgical team working on another Genii woman.

Elizabeth looked up and saw him standing there.

"Rodney. Is everything all right?" With her arms wrapped around herself, she tried to be as in control as she could muster.

"Yes, fine. I thought I'd find you, see if you wanted to set a date for the mission evaluation?" He smiled hopefully, coming to stand by her side, and look down at the operation going on below them.

"Sure. We'll go to my office. I just…" her voice trailed off as she watched what was going on.

They stood, silently, just watching. Rodney could sense Elizabeth was not entirely with him, she had so much on her mind. He wished she would let him in, let him back in. Somehow, he'd found his way through the mire that was the horror of the Pegasus galaxy. Sure, he'd faced his potential demise once again today, hostage once more to the Genii, minutes from death, but once more he'd found himself alive, and home. He felt like he could do it. He was capable. But he needed her. He needed to be led.

Suddenly, Elizabeth reached out one arm and just clasped her hand around his forearm.

She whispered, "That woman… she was going to die."

He felt his heart pounding. She needed him, she was holding on to him.

"I know, Elizabeth. It's OK. Carson and his team are helping her."

Before he knew it, her head was in his shoulder, and she was sobbing. "They were dying, Rodney. It's just horrible."

He kind of put an arm around her and just held her as she let the emotion of the day wash out. He suspected she was crying not just for those Genii, but also for the thought that they might have lost Lorne and his men, the thought that he and his team might have been killed. She had a lot of things to face every day, and she just wasn't as strong as she wanted to be, no matter how she acted.

"It's OK, Elizabeth. It's all going to be OK." He drew her around until he could take her fully in his arms. Holding her close with one arm, he used the other hand to stroke her hair until she relaxed into him.

After a minute, he lifted her chin, and smiled at her. "Come on. You'll be OK. Kate just brings it all home, that's all. You know it's a good thing, right?"

She wiped her eyes, and sniffed. "Yes, I know. Thanks Rodney. We're really going to be OK, aren't we?"

She wasn't just talking about the mission now, she was talking about _them_. And he knew they would be.

"Yeah, Elizabeth. We're going to be fine."

In a moment, she had transformed back into leader of Atlantis, and they left the observation room together.

* * *

**A/N:** What a tough season for McWeir. And ethics LOL. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Spoilers: **Michael, The Siege, Hide and Seek

**A/N: **Many, many thanks to** LittleKnux2008 **for beta. It's another long one.

**Summary:** Elizabeth addresses Rodney's recent behaviour, but learns something about herself. WIP.

**Chapter Eight: Pre, during and Post... Michael**

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**Chapter Eight**

Rodney bounded up the stairs two at a time and strode towards Elizabeth's office. He had a broad smile on his face and a spring in his step. Acknowledging the Senior Control Room Technician by his name, and with a friendly nod, he swept across the walkway, and came to a halt at her office door.

There must be some mistake. It was he, Rodney, who had a meeting scheduled with Elizabeth at this exact time. All day, in fact. An entire day going over mission logs and dissecting command outcomes. Re-evaluation of vision and purpose. An entire day with Elizabeth. He and Elizabeth. Working… together.

He placed one hand either side of the doorframe. His face fell and he stared at the scene before him, just waiting.

Carson turned around in his seat at Elizabeth's desk. The doctor's face was excited, smug even. Elizabeth pushed against her desk to stand.

"Excuse me for a moment please, Carson." She was pleasant, gracious.

"Yes, of course Elizabeth." The Scot was ebullient.

Rodney frowned hard as Elizabeth approached him. Unable to hide his disappointed confusion, his words came out as a hiss. "I thought we…?"

Elizabeth was composed, controlled, as she cut him off. "I'm sorry, Rodney." She didn't sound sorry, not really. "Really, I am. But something else has come up. Something… important. We need to reschedule the mission re-evaluation. You don't mind, do you?"

He could see only her diplomatic manipulation, there was no trace of genuine concern for his 'mind' or otherwise.

"What exactly has 'come up'? There's no Wraith activity, no emergency. What's Carson doing here?" The paranoia was unsuppressed.

Elizabeth didn't hide her annoyance. "Look, Rodney, I'm sorry I didn't contact you to cancel. Carson thinks his retrovirus is ready to test. We want to take a Wraith and treat it until it becomes human." Her eyes shone with a wild gleam, but her mouth was a tense line.

Rodney couldn't believe what he was hearing. Glancing past her at Carson, he took hold of her arm with a gentle grip and pulled her out of her office completely, walking a little way until they were at least possibly out of the doctor's earshot.

He leaned close, voice shrill, hands flying. "Are you out of your mind? 'Take' a Wraith? Treat it with the retrovirus? Here?" He leaned back, hands on hips, staring at the ceiling for a moment. Elizabeth just stood, scowling, arms folded.

Rodney stared at her again, and pointed at her with shaky finger. "See? This is exactly why we need to take some time to figure out what the hell we're doing here. You can't just 'take' a Wraith and pump it full of retrovirus. That's not science, and it's not war. It's… it's insane!"

She pursed her lips, and raised an eyebrow patronisingly. "I appreciate your concern, Rodney. But I know what I'm doing. I have John on his way to discuss the details of the project."

Rodney's mouth dropped open. He just couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could she do this? She must be completely unhinged to even contemplate such a course of action. So much for seeing Heightmeyer. Any benefit that had temporarily brought had been swept away in some experimental frenzy.

She hadn't finished. "Why don't you… go find someone to play chess with instead?" She stuck out her chin. Conversation ended.

Play chess? Was she utterly insensitive, or did she actually know that he'd found someone to decently play against?

"Fine." He snipped. "I'll go find Cole, and you can play your silly games with the other boys."

He could have sworn she was rolling her eyes at him as he stormed down the stairs.

0o0o0

"_Please, Rodney. I just want you to be there._"

Her voice echoed in his radio earpiece. He swallowed hard. How could he refuse her? Michael had been having dreams, and the senior team were going to discuss options. Everything seemed to be unravelling, and all he wanted to do was shout 'I told you so'.

"_Rodney? Can you hear me?"_

He sighed. "Yes, I'm here, Elizabeth. I don't see what…"

"_I know you aren't really involved, Rodney, but I just want you there. I… You're usually there, that's all. It's beginning to feel… I feel you should be there._"

He sighed again. He wished she'd never changed. She seemed so… unsettled now. Was she really sure what she was doing? Were any of them? He'd been surprised at Teyla's whole-hearted devotion to the whole affair. Carson must have sold her one hell of a story about how this would 'cure' the Wraith. He was strangely grateful to Ronon for his honest assessment of this project. It seemed quite in keeping with his own view, in many ways. And then there was Sheppard. Sheppard thought there was an opportunity here that was too good to be passed up. Rodney couldn't help wondering what the opportunity was going to lead to, but… Rodney did trust Sheppard.

"OK. I'll come. But promise me something, Elizabeth?"

"_What?_" Her tone was curious, caring.

"When this is over, talk to me, OK?"

There was a long pause. "_OK._"

0o0o0

Michael had killed Cole, the one they all called King. Rodney had lost his chess partner. Rodney was going to lose _it_ if this whole sorry mess wasn't resolved soon. He decided to take a trip to see Elizabeth, and find out what was going on.

"Hey, how's it going?" He slapped the Canadian Sergeant on the shoulder as he came up to stand behind him.

"Fine, sir. Dr Weir is out of her office, sorry."

"Oh, right, thanks. Hey… she talk to you much?"

The Sergeant hung his head, and sighed. "Rarely." He looked up at Rodney. "I can't help it if I'm not Dr Grodin, right? I mean, I miss him too. Why can't she just…?"

McKay waved a hand. "Don't worry. I'm working on it. She'll come around… eventually. Keep up the good work, OK?"

The Sergeant smiled at the rare compliment from Dr McKay. Usually he just pushed him around.

"Sorry to hear about King, sir."

"Yeah, damn shame. Thanks. No more chess for me for a while." Rodney gave a tight smile and headed back down the stairs.

0o0o0

"_Rodney?"_

"Yes."

"_Are you coming…? You're late_."

"I know. I… Yes, I'm coming."

"_Right, good._"

0o0o0

Rodney entered her office. Elizabeth was standing by the far wall, her arms held around her protectively. Looking up, seeing him, she gave a shy smile.

He cleared his throat. "Shall we?"

She shut her eyes for a moment, and then smiled, her head dipping in agreement. "Yes, perhaps we should."

Rodney made to sit at the chair in front of her desk, but Elizabeth walked up to his side, and took his arm.

"Please, let's just start by sitting over here? OK?" She pulled him gently to the couch.

They sat down awkwardly, hands on laps, heads down.

"Rodney…"

"Elizabeth…"

They gave nervous chuckles when they spoke simultaneously. Elizabeth covered his hand with hers.

"I need to go first, Rodney."

He nodded, sadly.

"I… I realise we… I made a mistake. Another one. I know. We should never have done it. Even Teyla…"

She stopped speaking, but Rodney didn't say anything, just looked at her.

When she was ready, she carried on. "I see now that I need to stop and think about how I'm leading this expedition. I apologise…" She held up her other hand as he finally started to speak. "No, let me finish. If I'd taken one more day, talked things over with you, maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe we would never have made Michael. Maybe Cole would be alive. I'm really, truly, sorry about that."

Rodney blinked hard. "So you did know we used to play chess. I thought you were just being…not nice."

She sighed deeply. "Yes, I did know. But you _are_ right, I _was _being not nice. I would take back all those things I said, if I could."

He looked into her eyes. "At least you can take them back. I'm still here; we can work this out. I understand the pressure you're under, to deliver, to save this galaxy, Earth even. You're going to make mistakes. I'm not even saying that making Michael was a mistake. Just… don't leave me out any more. I want to be there, help you." He looked down, a little embarrassed by his speech.

They sat quietly for a minute. Elizabeth let his words travel through her mind. Something struck her, and she took his hand in hers, shuffling a little closer on the couch.

"You don't still regret all the things you said to Peter, do you? We've been over all that. You were good friends, it's the way you were."

He pinched the bridge of his nose with his other hand. "No, not regret, it just... makes me sad sometimes, that's all."

He took her hands in his, turning to face her. "He says you don't talk to him. You need to treat him like everyone else. I do."

Elizabeth knew exactly who he was talking about. The Canadian Sergeant who replaced Peter as Senior Control Room Technician. She couldn't even bring herself to say his name. Every time she saw him, all those memories came back. She couldn't…

"Elizabeth." He squeezed her hands, watching her bowed head. "You've got to start somewhere. It's been… almost a year. You're still… hurt."

She looked up, and smiled sadly. "Yes, I think I know. Thank you for showing me. And I will, I'll talk to him… Rodney, if I tell you I'm sorry, for pushing you away… will you help me, now?"

He gave her a crooked smile. "I told you before, Elizabeth. You and me? We can do this. Now, come on, down to work. It's going to be fun, on the whole. Why don't we start with my marvellous adventures with the personal shield? I loved that day. Well, mostly, obviously there was…"

She smiled at his happy chatter, and leaned back, letting herself relax as she just listened.

* * *

**A/N:** The next chapter will be the last... Sorry, I can't help it if season 2 is coming to an end! This was originally a short fic inspired by the degeneration of McWeir in season 2, then became an interpretation of their relationship against the rest of the backdrop of season 2, so I'm gonna wrap it up after Inferno!

I've really enjoyed putting them through the mill, and then fixing them, and I'm feeling hopeful for the final chapter, even though it isn't written yet LOL.

I may do something similar in season 3, who knows?

Many thanks for everyone reading and reviewing, you make me very happy!


	9. Chapter 9

**Spoilers: The Siege (1), Inferno and Allies (1)**.

**A/N: **Apologies if anyone doesn't like the name I've given Sergeant Canada! In my universe, I'm going to try Leo Dalhousie. Thanks to PartyLikeIts1984 at Gateworld ;)

Well, it's time to wrap this baby up. It's been fun, but Season 2 is at an end. Hope you enjoyed the ride. This chapter is ridiculously shippy, so look away now if you are easily offended ;) It's turned to mush. And OK, so it's been utterly unbelievable stuff, but well, hey, that's fiction.

I appreciate everyone's support and encouragement, especially to Fanwoman, Hananian, NenyaVilyaNenya, nebbyJen, gatermage, Purpleyin, Rocketlover, JazzyMcWeir and laurelisland. Special thanks to dahan!

Thanks to **LittleKnux2008** for sticking with it as my wonderful beta.

**Chapter Nine: **set just hours before** Allies**

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**Chapter Nine**

Rodney was sauntering down the stairs from the jumper bay. One eye was on his descent, the other on a small datapad in his hand. He was about to step down onto the last landing when he heard voices from the Control Room drifting up to meet him. He halted in his tracks, and strained to catch the conversation. As he listened, he nodded reflexively. He had been right; Elizabeth was talking to Sergeant Dalhousie. Then he heard them both laughing.

Cautiously, he leaned around, holding the rail, and caught a glimpse of the scene. There didn't appear to be anyone else in the area. Sergeant Dalhousie was swivelling casually from side to side on his chair, his hands gesturing as he recounted some tale or other. Elizabeth was standing near him, leaning against a console, her hands holding the desk edge. Dalhousie had her undivided attention. She smiled and nodded as he spoke, adding her own comment from time to time. She looked…happy.

Rodney felt one side of his mouth curling up in a half grin. So, she was finally letting herself interact with his fellow Canadian. The guy had done a reasonable job stepping into Peter's shoes, he'd decided. Despite being military, he'd qualified. And now Elizabeth seemed to be finally accepting that fact also. Well, he was pleased.

Taking another look, he saw Elizabeth chuckling, but then, her expression crumpled, and she put one hand over her mouth. She seemed to stifle a sob as she closed her eyes. Rodney gripped the rail hard to stop himself from rushing down the last flight of stairs. Dalhousie rolled his chair a little nearer to Elizabeth and looked up at her. Rodney watched as the Sergeant reached out tentatively and covered Elizabeth's hand with his own. It seemed like a long moment as they stayed like that, Elizabeth with her face still covered. Then she seemed to recover, and Dalhousie was standing now, talking quietly to her, his head low in concern. She was nodding, smiling weakly. She patted Dalhousie on the arm and he sat down again, fiddling with the console crystals distractedly.

Rodney decided it was time for him to make his entrance. As his feet bounced down the last two steps, Elizabeth looked up and saw him approaching.

"Rodney." She acknowledged him with a small but genuine smile.

"Elizabeth. Leo." Rodney gave them both a courteous nod.

The Canadian Sergeant nodded back. "Dr McKay."

Elizabeth leaned forward a little, and turned to Rodney, her smile a little broader. "Leo was just reminding me of that time Peter fell asleep in the corner!" She blinked, smiling.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Oh, I remember. At least he wasn't on duty. You couldn't keep him away from here, could you?" he looked at Dalhousie.

"No sir. But I was always pleased to have him close at hand if I was on shift."

"Yes. Yes, I suppose you must have been." Rodney agreed. "Except when he was mocking us, right…?" Rodney raised an eyebrow.

Elizabeth laughed again, and Dalhousie answered dryly, "No, that part was less welcomed."

They shared a few moments silence with smiles on their faces, before Elizabeth placed her hand on Rodney's arm.

"Come on, Rodney, " she said, "I want you to show me your progress on the Orion."

"Right, right." Rodney clutched his datapad to his chest and followed her towards her office.

As she entered the room, she said, "Well, I'm glad I've been talking to Leo. He…understands."

Rodney nodded. "Yes. He's not so bad. Well, he tries."

She gave a small laugh. "I'll tell him you said that."

Rodney gave a grunt. "OK, well, I've got the Orion schematics and my latest summary here. You wanted to see?"

They sat at her desk, and Elizabeth took the datapad. She nodded as she concentrated.

With her eyes on the screen, she said quietly. "You've done amazing work in the past four weeks, Rodney. You really are invaluable. And what you did on Taranis… well done." She looked up.

"Thanks," he took a deep breath, recalling the brush with a supervolcano. "That was another close call."

She smiled. "Yes. I don't know how you do it. Got used to the adrenaline, perhaps?"

The side of his mouth twitched. "Yes, well, it would appear that way. Can't resist the lure of danger, that's me."

She put down the datapad. "I'm glad we reviewed the mission logs together. I feel I have a much better sense of where this expedition needs to be heading. I think it also helped me to understand what you _do_. I mean, we both agreed that without Sheppard none of us would be here."

Rodney nodded.

Elizabeth continued. "And without you… I certainly wouldn't be here. Thank you… for everything." She leaned forward just a little to add weight to her words.

He shrugged. "Just… doing what comes naturally. I'd do it all again." He looked straight at her.

Elizabeth looked down, and grinned. "It's been an incredible couple of years. And I had no idea you'd met so many 'hot' women." Her expression was one of pure tease.

He threw his hands up in despair. "Are you ever going to drop that? I'm gonna kill Sheppard, can't he write a professional report? Ever since we went over the mission logs…"

She interrupted him by briefly putting a hand on his arm. "It's OK, Rodney. I'm just kidding. It's funny, really. I can imagine you and John, comparing notes…" she chuckled.

"We do not!" he retorted. "Elizabeth. I can assure you… I am completely professional at all times on a mission." He continued, a little more sheepishly, "Yes, well, I suppose we might… Anyway, we can't help it if all these alien women throw themselves at us. Like these really … hot…" He stopped talking, suddenly looking at Elizabeth closely. His eyes narrowed a little, and he chewed on his lower lip.

She frowned, watching him think. "Rodney? Are you all right?"

He shook his head and blinked. "Yes. Yes. I… um… you're…" His own frown deepened, and he dropped his eyes to the desk.

"Rodney?" She touched his arm again.

He drew his hands off the table and put them on the arms of the chair. The side of his mouth twitched nervously. "Do you want me to leave you those schematics?"

He was hiding something, and looked as if he wanted to leave quickly; it was obvious. She raised an eyebrow, and looked at him long and hard. "Would you look at them with me?"

"Sure." He looked really nervous now.

She decided to do a little straight talking. "Rodney? We've had a tough year, you and I. But we've saved our friendship. I made a lot of mistakes, and I'm sorry. You knew I was hurting, but I'm dealing with that. You knew something was wrong. If there's something still troubling _you_, I want to know about it."

He had a shocked expression on his face. "No! Nothing troubling me. I just... for a moment there, I…" he gulped. "Sorry, I was just distracted for a moment. I'm kinda tired. Do you mind if we wrap it up?"

He stood up, and Elizabeth rose too. He waggled some fingers in the air. "I'm glad we're fine again, Elizabeth. Really."

She wasn't going to let him get out of it that easily. Elizabeth stepped around the desk and moved to join him as he stood next to the chair. She put her arms around him and waited for him to envelop her in the hug they hadn't shared for a long time. He sighed as he squeezed her tight, his head resting against hers.

"Damn it." Rodney whispered quietly, but she heard it.

"Rodney?"

He sighed again, this time it was tinged with apprehension. "I never want to lose you as a friend, Elizabeth."

She drew away enough to see his face, and her hand reached up to touch his cheek. "You won't. I promise. And I never want to lose you… period. When you go through that gate, you have no idea what it feels like, knowing one of you might not return. Knowing _you_ might not return."

"Really?" he couldn't help his hopeful question.

"Of course." She slipped herself back into the hug. "I hate that feeling. Maybe it's why I was so… angry. We… _I've_ lost enough. I just don't know if I can lose _you_…"

Before he could stop himself, Rodney leaned down and kissed her on the mouth. Just a small, tender kiss. "Don't say all those things, Elizabeth," he breathed, "You're stronger than that. There's nothing wrong with you. You're perfect." Before her eyes changed their mind, he came in for the next breath-taking instalment, and found no resistance.

Sergeant Dalhousie cleared his throat as he stood at the door of her office, and watched his superiors almost jump apart. "Sorry, Dr Weir, Dr McKay. I wouldn't interrupt, but I've got a Hive ship on the long-range sensors. It's going to be here within hours." He waited for their nods, and then returned to the Control Room.

Elizabeth took hold of Rodney's forearms and put them back around her waist. "Rodney. Once we deal with this, we'll talk, OK?" She leaned in and kissed him squarely on the lips. With her arms around his neck, they pressed together in a tight embrace.

He buried his face in her dark curls, and whispered, "I love you."

"I thought so," she murmured against his neck. "I love you, too."

Pulling apart, Rodney rubbed his hands together. "OK, Hive ship. Let's get to work." He gave her a broad grin, and bounced out the door. She couldn't stop her own smile. Things were almost like they used to be, only better.

* * *

**A/N:** Did I mention you can always get free anti-sickness tablets at the Information Desk on Deck Six? Hope you enjoyed the cruise… 

Thanks, all, and byeeee.


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